Aydin Aghdashloo
Audio of the Entire Interview
Interview Transcript
Part01
I was born in Rasht on 1319
and have been in there till 1330
I’m from a migrant Caucasian family
my father, “Mohammad Beik Hajiov”
who chose the surname “Aghdashloo” then
because of the place we lived in, in Caucasus
“Aghdash”, a small town between Baku and Ganja
he had to move to Iran after the bolshevik revolution
Because in a short period, caucasus was supposed to get independence
the Musavat party was formed
my father was interior minister in that government
but it didn’t take so long, because Lenin and then Stalin regreted it
they took all the lands back
they had list of non-bolsheviks, my father was on top of the list
they wanted to execute him
so he passed Aras river and came to Iran nghtly by horse
In Iran he was very welcomed
and they were so kind to him
He became the specialist at ministry of roads
He was roads and urban engineer, graduated from Berlin
Though he had no certificate by his side at that time,
but Iran they accepted him in Reza Shah era
And he began his career as an engineer in Iran
He worked in several cities,
In Khorramdarre, in Qazvin…
Many of bridges in north were made by my father in those days
Such as Manjil bridge
When he was working in Rasht (which he stayed in for the rest of his life)
I was born in there
I’m the only child of the family,
the other children did’nt survive
And…
We lived in Rasht while my father was alive
So I’m a very strange mix of Turk and Rashti
and sometimes I say as a joke: “I’m involved in any jokes”
but I’m really pleased with both of my origins
we used to speak Turkish at home
sometimes my parents spoke Russian
whenever they did’nt want me to understand
after a while
I tried to correct my accent
Because in those days I had a very mixture accent of Turkish and Gilaki
after we moved to Tehran, in the first day of school
the Ghaem Magham school, in Saadi street
It was middle of the semester when I entered the school
in literature class
the teacher asked me to read a passage
and I began to read, then everybody in that class started laughing
because of my strange accent
I got so upset
then I decided to speak persian better than anyone else
Let’s go further back
my family were living in a little house when I was born
that kind of houses with a big yard and some appartements around it
and every appartement were belong to someone
the yard was a place for children of families to play in
and there was a very beautiful pomegranate tree,
a fig tree full of fruits
at the fruit season, we never got off the tree
the families were from different classes
we were stranger among them, on our own class
because my father were graduated from university of Moscow,
and then Berlin university
with a high score
he spoke in five languages
however, Iran was the best place to go for him
he wasn’t that much welcomed in any other countries
but he got so alone in Iran
his most friends were the Russians who had scaped from Caucasus
my mother was from a royal family
she was Bahman Mirza Ghajar’s granddaughter, he was
Nasereddin Shah’s uncle
and the son of Abbas Mirza
they use to live in Caucasus too
because Bahman Mirza had a claim for throne
and Russia kept him in Gharabagh to frightened Nasereddin Shah
therefor my mother’s family were in Caucasus
one of my father’s jobs was buying stuff for the Musavat Party, from Tabriz
in one of his trips, he saw my mother
then they got married and moved to Caucasus
so my mother’s family were so prideful…
…and arrogant
though they were stranger in a foriegn land,
but still had that pride
just like most royal families
all of family members of my mother’s father
were all important millitary martials in russian government
my mother’s surname was Khan Nakhjavan,
and Khan Nakhjavans were all military martials
they had been to Iran, in Reza Shah era, and the Mohammadreza Shah era
and they became so important in Iran
such as general Ahmad Khan Nakhjavan
all in all, take all what I said
and imagine this family in Rasht
in a small house , in afakhra alley
with a normal salary
it was a tough life
though my father was lonely and sad,
but was a good dad for me
the only origin of what all I am today, is my father
he was an architecture,
he was good at drawing and taught me as well
also he was a great cartoonist
he used to read poets for me
he always walked around and read Shahname for me
moving his hands… and I was really impressed by him
he was such a modern Ferdowsi in jail, in his so called story
the first time he took me to a painting class
and I saw Habib Mohammadi,
who became teacher of Bahman Mohasses later
I met Mohasses at my seven, for the first time in Rasht
Habib Mohammadi was an impressionist painter
who had come back from Russia recently
it was so exciting for me to watch his paintings
I was really touched
also my father had a painter friend, called Rassam
whom was a bilboard writer and painter as well
the first painting which caught me
was a large sized painting, Rassam were copying
of a Macke’s painting of Reza shah’s coronation
a really magnificent painting of Reza Shah on his throne with a flag in hand
Rassam was copying it
as I saw that painting, I got shocked,
and I was like “is it really possible?”
well it was in real size
my father mostly went to Rassam’s workshop after work
and sometimes my mother sent me to call him back home
I had to find him
she sent me out saying: “go find your dad.”
and one of his most going places were Rassam’s workshop
in Pahlavi St.
and when I went to call him
I got impressed by Rassam’s paintings, and forgot to take dad home
so I got familiar with painting in those days
my mother moved to Tehran because of a surgery, when I was 5
so I lived in my aunt’s house for a while
my cousin says someday I drew a portrait of their young maid,
at the age of 5
I’m not saying that I was genius or incredible,
but I mean something different had begun in me
as they said my drawing was so realistic,
unlike the paintings of other kids at that age
they could recognise the young girl in the drawing
everyone was saying this boy is a painter,
and my aunt jokingly said you should be a painter
then something started in my head,
and I decided to become a painter
so I took it seriously, and practiced days and nights
my father encouraged me a lot
I also owe the literary background of works to my dad
when he was in Tehran, he sent me some books
some of those books were so difficult to understand for a kid at that age
one of them was “Alef-an-Nahaar”
it was written like “One thousand and one night”
and had a really complex translation of Mozaffar ad-Din Shah’s era
he had sent me this book and because it was including short stories
it was so interesting for me to read
but I coudln’t understand most of it
each story ended like
“they reached each other, and lived a lifetime happily together…
…until “Hadem Al-Lazzat” came and ended their story.”
I sent a letter to my father asking what is the Hadem Al-Lazzat?
and he wrote back: “this is death”
means something which annihilates all pleasures
perhaps years later when I was working
on my collection named “Memories of Annihilation”
I was kind of inspired by that book, which I still own
I used to ask most questions of my dad
though he was not persian, but really liked persian language
I’m one of the rarest among the intellectuals of my generation,
who has read both Shahname and Quran completely
most of them are relegious and obviously have read Quran
but I wasn’t from that kind of background
and have done it thanks to my dad
when my dad was familiarized me with literature
it was not only persian literature and Quran
but also he used to read Pushkin’s poems in russian
I remember he used to read Pushkin’s fantastic poem,
“Eugene Onegin”
I couldn’t understand at all
but I was really impressed by it’s rythm
and I still believe the russian language
is one of the best sounding languages I’ve ever heard
so I owe my father whatever I have
and it’s a pity I couldn’t learn more
when we moved here, my father’s bookcase
was the only thing we brought
including 30 to 40 books which I still have in my bookcase
sometimes I look at them and see they are
in french, in russian, in english, and in german
and turkish, his first language
and persian which he could speak hardly
and I always think if he could live longer I could be a more useful person
so it was my childhood, not too bad and not very good
we had tough days sometimes, my father had an average salary
my mother was really thrifty
we were living in a house with no TV nor telephone
we celebrated the day we owned electricity in the building
we went to the breads to have some
when we got hungry,
my mother said: “it’s enough, you had some recently.”
just that simple
my father got ill later, moved to Tehran and died in Tehran
during those two years we lived in my aunt and her husband’s house in Tehran
my aunt’s husband was Abbas Bijarchi,
a really good man
he was a perfect person
I remember he told me the news of dad’s death to me, I was just 11
to tell my mother
and I didn’t know how to do
as told told her, she started to cry
it was a big responsibility to me, at the age of 11
after 24 hours I got out and hugged that fig tree and cried a lot
as a child I realized that I have responsibilities
Part02
after we moved to Tehran, I went to primary school and then high school
my high school was “Jam”, in Gholhak
my mother always rented small houses near the school
It had to be balanced with my father’s salary
she was a…
…strong woman
and never accepted any aids
even while we were living in my aunt’s house
though they were so kind to us
my aunt’s husband used to by me the clothes
same as their children every new year
but my mother always were willing to repay their kindness
so she ironed their clothes everytime
and anything else she was able to do
she was a tough woman
she was thin outside, but so strong inside
she grew me up hardly, but prideful
I hadn’t sold any paintings till my 14
I had a bookcase at those ages
including about 200 books
I didn’t like their covers, so I started designing new covers for them
somehow It could be the origin of my design career
once my aunt took me to Abbas Katoozian
because she could see my talent and ineterst
Katoozian took a look at my works, then at myself
then said: “this kid is going to be a painter.”
my aunt asked how come?
and he said because there is the light of art in his eyes
I don’t know if does this light exist or not, but he could see something
I got so happy but suddenly he said I never teach boys
and he was right
that’s why after I started teaching, I accept even the worst male students
because I remember how sad I got that moment
I owe my aunt
then she took me to an armenian painter named Tigran Bazil, in Forsat street
he was a professional oil painter
but no one knew him, and no one does nowadays
and I’ve been his student for 1.5 years
he was so funny and ineteresting
once I was painting a portrait of Gregory Peck,
for a cinema high sign in his workshop
I still remember the movie’s name
the sailor of seven seas… or something like this
I was painting that of a small picture
he came and took a look at my painting
at me and the small picture in my hand
then said: “Aydin, don’t come to this class anymore.”
I said why not sir?
he said: “what more you want to learn? go and work for yourself…
…you are a painter now.”
I was like am I?
he said: “in my opinion you are.”
and that was my last painting class
then I kept on oild painting, ‘cuz I was Bazil’s student
until my cousin’s rich husband, Mr. Mahmoudi
came to me and said paint something for me
there is a gerat painting, I go to see everytime I travel to London
a Velasquez’s painting in London National Gallery
everytime I go to London
that was It he wanted me to copy
he asked can you do it? I said Yes
then I painted it so well
he liked it a lot and paid me 40 tomans
it was a big money at that time
that was the first painting I sold, but after that I began to sell more
and gave 40 tomans to my mom
I began to earn money by selling paintings
I’ve never been a good student at school
because I believed everything except art and literature was useless
so I loved my art and the literature teachers
and I had bad scores in any other fields
F in algebra, G in Geometry…
that was such a weird school
with any kind of students
the rich, local people…
rich people of Tehran had found Qolhak as the country
and Zargande as well
and some were from the Qolhak village
the headman of Qolhak was selected by embassy of UK
and the headman of Zargandeh was selected by Russian embassy
and the headman was so cruel to people of older generations
there were some sportsmen in that school, and some bullies
and some were so intellectual and artist
in those days in Qolhak I had chance to meet many of important people
such as Parviz Fannizadeh, Ali Golestaneh, Abbas Kiarostami, AliAkbar Sadeghi
a new generation of artists were from that school
some were always fighting, some had personal drivers,
and some tried not to pass the exams more and more
there was a boy named Akbar Maleki on 6th grade
and he was 25
in that strange place, we all had fully respect
no one ever bullied us
I drew about 30 portraits for those bullies,
of their father , the girl they’ve been in love with…
I had to draw, otherwise they could hit me
I had no way
so that generation startet growin
Dr. velayati who became minister later, was our classmate
and I’ve always admired him respectfully
because when he became minister,
he gave our history teacher -the one who made me love history- a post in ministry
he repaid his helps
that group of students were so popular
also Parviz Kardan was there
we played theaters, holded painting exhibitions…
Akbar Sadeghi were always the winner, and I was runner up
our teachers were so inspiring for us
Mr. Moein Afshar who still lives at the age of 90
he always admires painting, he was a violin player
Mr. Homayoun was a writer and then a great archaeologist
once Jalal Moghaddam came to our class, he became a filmmaker later
he stood by the window and stared at the yard
and asked who is painter among you?
and every one pointed at me
he turned back, looked at me, I was bald in an old suit
and a face bleeding of fights, and a thorned collar
he asked are you a painter? and I said yes sir
then he asked you know anything about painting or you just paint?
I said I know sir
he asked what is the difference between DeGas and Luthrec
I knew both, I had copied their paintings
I said I don’t know sir
he said it’s simple, Luthrec uses more lines, but Degas’s paintings are more volumetric
and I suddenly realized that painting is not only about drawing,
but also it’s including some meanings
and I didn’t know that! that was such an important moment of my life
just like the day I was copying a Dela Crois’s painting in aunt’s house
a young man -guest of my aunt- was watching me from the beyond of the window
came in an said you are painting, I said yes
said what are you painting?
and I said it’s Dela Crois’s painting
he said exelent! so you are copying, arn’t you?
I said yes
he said don’t copy anymore.
I said so what sould I do?
he said I’ll write you what to do, I’m going to Geneve tommorow
he sent me a letter after one month, and that letter became so important in my life
he had written what painting could be
his name was Dariush Shayegan
and these two moments were the reasons
I looked at the painting in the way of philosophy, history, etc.
Part03
When I was in high school I needed money
one of my classmates came to me and said I read somewhere they need graphic designer
it was not “graphic designer at that time,
it was called advertisement painter
graphic became common thanks to Morteza Momayyez and Ghobad Shiva
I got there, behind the ferdosi shopping center. I was just 16
they looked at me and said what do you want? I said I’m here to work
they said do you paint? I said yes
Mr. Monshi was there, a great man
he gave me a pencil and a paper and a picture to draw, and said draw it
it was a picture in a magazine, a couple were making love on a boat
I sat there and began drawing
he took the drawing in a room
minutes later a young man came out and asked did youn paint this?
I said yes
and told Mr. Monshi employ him
that young man was Masoud Behnam,
who became a famous painter later, and lived the rest of his life in the US
and they employed me at the moment
I said what should I do now? they said come to work every day
I said I go to school, and they replied you can come afternoons
then every day at 2:30 pm I got out of school,
ate my mom’s handmade sandwich on bus
and went to work, and worked untill 9 pm
the first time they paid me, I got surprised! it was 300 tomans
I asked how many months is it for? he said It is for one month
and I got extremely happy
went home and gave all money to my mother
that was the moment I started my career as a graphic designer at the age of 16
and stayed graphic designer until 1370
graphics became a way for me to earn money
I was just a designer at first, then I did other works
then we create a company, later another one
and graphics became my main job
I was getting rich more and more
I designed for school books, with its money
I traveled to London for the first time
I got rich with graphics
I went around the world
at the age of 18 I entered the University of Tehran and I was really happy
I thought I can find the answer of all questions in there
then I realized it is not enough to answer all my questions
I was so curious and active, I was really good in english at that age
to read english books
I had more questions
I stayed in university for 6 years
then I wrote a letter to Houshang Seyhoon, the head of faculty
saying this faculty is so old in planning and studies, it is still on 19th century of France
and because I couldn’t find my answers in here, I’d better leave
I came in University on 1338, and left on 1344
at that time I thought I know more than my teachers and I was better than them
well, that was not true
our teachers were Mr. Heydarian, Mr. Hamidi,
Mr. Javadipour, Mrs. Behjat Sadr, and Mohsen Vaziri Moghaddam lately
all of them had returned from abroad recently, except Heydarian
they had so much to teach
in real painting I just respectful to Heydarian’s works
and Keykhosro Khoroosh
who is a great painter
two of the most famous portraits of Ayatullah Khomeyni
and Khameneyi was painted by him
he was our classmate, and the favorite of Heydarian
and gave him all of his art, because Khoroosh was ready to learn all
I thought those teachers were modernists of 50’s but I was 70’s
and all they were teaching was so old fashion in my opinion
in the 70’s Andy Warhole and his Pop-Art were common in the world
but it was unknown in our university, they were teaching Piccaso’s cubism
I’m not saying that they didn’t know what was going on in the world, but they were in their own generation
however, now I look back they were really good
I owe them
not becuase of what they tought me, but because of their existnace
after cultural revolution and fireing all good teachers
the lack of their existance showed up
and it had a massive effect in a long time
all the teachers, and lately Vaziri Moghaddam,
were trying to modernize the educational system
but hadn’t enough power
and the most modern of them were Behjat Sadr and Vaziri Moghaddam
and now I look back and see they were the best painters of Iran’s modern art
they inspired other painters such as Gholamhossein Nami, Mohammad Ebrahim Jafari
and other next generations of painters
but I wasnt belong to there
and I did the best to leave it
but the best thing I did without knowing
was the fact I didn’t become a modernist painter
I’m not in any specific category in Iran art history
because I’m not a modernist painter, not surrealist nor realist
I always say jokingly I’m an indipendent painter
though painting was outside the university for me, but university had effects
its library was amazing
history of art was important to me
because the history teachers always tought history so academic and made me hate it
and I had to read art history again and I realized it is something different
meeting students around affected me a lot
those friendships
the conversations about art
fightings on art
the friendships I had with Golestaneh, Momayyez…
I’m not saying that university was bad
not even the educational system
it’s all about what you earn something from somewhere
my students ask if should they go to university or not
and I answer I’m not good role model for you, ‘cuz I left university in last year
but if you go, you wont regret it
because just maybe you can find a teacher and learn from him
and also the atmosphere will help you, either your classmates
when I left, everyone got rid of me
then I began working for myself
I was an anarchist and angry student
somehow annoying
I was so proud of my painting and speeching skills
sometimes I could convince others eventhough I wasn’t right
I still got that, I still do it
I had a friend, named Ali Asghar Mohtaj
he was a great painter and the became a great graphic designer
and later he worked for Tamasha and Soroush magazines,
until retirement
he has written a book about those years of university
an amazing book which never released
because of the words and phrases I always used which are in that book
when I read this book, I got really happy
and I remembered all my forgatten years
I recoverd myself in fact
so if anybody wants to know more about those years of that faculty, must read that book
Part04
I didn’t attend the classes during the last years of university
because I had several jobs to do
one of those jobs which so effected on my life
was working with Andishe va Honar magazine
it had a cultural part and a political/economic part
the second part were always written by the owner of magazine,
Dr. Nasser Vosughi
he was such a stranger man, he had always been ready to hear new ideas,
he always took risks
they had an announcement saying that they needed
someone to write in cultural part
one of my friends, Shamim Bahar wanted to go for it
and started his job as writer in that magazine
well he was so good in english, he was really a genius, he still is
whenever I say his name, he gets upset for a month
he asked me to join him for writing art critics
and translating poems and english essays
and I did
the magazine released for two years and became so common
we had two special release, one for Jalal AleAhmad and the other for Ahmad Shamloo
I had a good interview with AleAhmad at my 22
the first things I wrote were critics actually
but then I wrote about more things,
such as history, art history
and I kept on it
not as much as after revolution, but it was a start point
in that time I realized I could write about other issues as well
at that age, I found some big mistakes in AleAhmad’s book
well it seemed so rude and disrespectful,
and AleAhmad got mad at me
eventhough he always liked my writings
in the meeting for interview he told me:
“you the one who writes about painting and stuff?”
and this sentence was a glory to me, that showed he reads my writings
and I was really proud of it
despite my generation who have seen AleAhmad, understood him , and liked him
such as Sirous Tahbaz, Reza Baraheni, Eslam Kazemiyeh, there is so many of them
AleAhmad was mad at me because of that disrespect
and he never talked to me again until his death
but his wife was always kind to me
but after the revolution, intelectuals started to reject him, and his works
I was the only one who stayed faithful to him
though in many speeches about AleAhmad I pointed at his mistakes
but I always liked him
I always say he was a great man, with big mistakes
but these mistakes don’t make him small
I was imagining several days ago, if he could still live
he would touch her mustache and say:
“look at these people, they were supposed to save my name…
…but this boy did it.”
well why not?
I was getting known as a writer smoothly
specially after the essay about AleAhmad
I found my place
despite what Baraheni wrote about me in Ferdosi magazine
it was totally disrespect to me, in support of AleAhmad
look, when you get my age, you will understand nothing is that important
when you are calm, which I am
fame, disrespecs all are not that important
Dr. Baraheni who attacked at 22 years old me in his writing
he should have allowed me to write my opinion and then corrected me
but he has changed during the time, I have too
but his changes were in the way,
he presented me later one of his most beautiful poems, “Daf”
I believe this is his best poem after the revolution
Hannibal AlKhas called me before dying to meet him, he was ill
and told me: “Aydin forgive me, I have said bad things about you everywhere.”
and all it was because our differences in thoughts
I hadn’t done anything bad to him personally
just like bordering the relegious do
they draw a line between themselves and the others,
it makes easier everything for them
I told him don’t mention it, you just had your opinions based on your thought
he was just saying : “it’s late, it’s late…” repeatedly
and I was like no sir It’s not late, you have a long way
and he died one week later
or Mr. Ebtehaj
he had been mad at me for a long time, again because of those thoughts
someday I got a call, and someone said:
Mr. Ebtehaj wants to see you and have a Rashti food with you
he hugged me, he kissed me, showed me some old photos
had dinner together
so you see these are not so important, life goes on
in fact I entered the literature of my generation
and this was so imortant in my life
I had been painter, but after the Andishe Va Honar, I was known as a writer as well
but I had a background in literature, I had written before
I had a book of poems, written in my 14
now Abbas Kiarostami has that book,
and knows all those poems by heart
despite they are childish poems. and it’s kind of him to me and his memory
I had a big bookcase at the age of 18
I really liked history
I had my first conference about Hakhamaneshi art on 8th grade in school
none of these are signs of being genius
but these are signs of a life in a small yard in Afakhra alley in Rasht,
with friends to play with, and a father to learn from, and a good mother
and I suddenly was supposed to take all my responsibilities by myself
I did everything and took everyhing I could to learn
I really liked reading, but didn’t have money to buy books
my cousin says when they sent me to buy meat,
the butcher always placed the meat in the newspaper
and once my aunt and my cousin saw me, walking slowly amd reading that newspaper
I used to read everything! I mean it, everything
these are signs of such a person like this, and I’m not special at all
everyone in my generation was like this
such as Mohammad Ali Sepanlou
I was curious about everything
Sepanloo was a writer, translator, poet and acted in films lately
or Shamim Bahar was just a writer, and still is
Ahmadreza Ahmadi is just a poet, and have been writing novels recently
I wasn’t like this, I really wanted to know about everything
despite my interests, I used my time and learned about everything
I was poet, writer, I had written about Iranian art history, before the university
the most important was an essay about importance of color in Iranian painting
I have written the biggest difference between Iranian
paintings in its glory age and the other countries, was color
and it was a big discovery at that age
I was interested in archaeology
I began collecting the old handwritings since I was 18
then I became specialist at islamic arts
and each of them was enough
I wrote the first criticism about painting, alongside Simin Daneshvar and some others
if anybody wants to write something about
the start of writing painting reviews, they should write about my collection of reviews
most of them are so bitter, I don’t write like that anymore
even if somebody is upset of my seccuss, or myself, or even my existance, and wants to deny it
it’s ok, but mostly my name is siad, I will be there
AleAhmad always liked my writings, I was inspired by him in writing
once Mr. Azarang told I have my specific writing style,
I’ve been in all of these, so I’ve been in contemporary culture of Iran
Part05
that was not like, as I left the university it happened to me
it had happened to me before
and I always did other works during my studies, works such as graphic designing
and later it became my income source and main job
the time I was working for several companies as a graphic designer
we were called advertisement painter
I was getting experienced to get indipendent
it took a long time
I worked in Mr. bahrami’s workshop for a while
then created a logo design company with one of my friends
it was so funny that we could hate art,
because there was a store near our company, called art
they had someone to invite people to buy stuff
and he yelled “art” 500 times per days
it was about 1342
on 15th of khordad we were working
and suddenly saw many people are yelling and running
they were escaping from the army soldiers
there were many workshops in our building
the poeple hide in there and then slowly got out
it was the time I was learning so much, Mr. Buyuk Ahmari was with us
he was older than us and had alot of knowledge about everything
I learned a lot from all these people
I corrected the problems of my color water painting
he used to paint water color sometimes, I stood behind him and watched.
he said jokingly:”whenever you teach my son
some new words, I will learn you water color painting.”
and teaching some new words to his son was really hard, but I had to do
after a while we moved to a bigger company called Clichograph, but it didn’t work well
Mr. Ahmariwas so hot-tempered, he was an amazing artist
I’ve been respectful to him, and he liked me too
years ago I went to meet him when he got ill
he couldn’t recognise anybody
his wife told me: “Ahmari always liked you.”
and collected whatever was related to you
and I was so proud that he was proud of me
then her wife called him loudly
then said: “Aydin has come.”
Ahmari looked at me and called my name, then he got back to his usual situation
and his wife later said during the time he was sick,
which was too long, he alwas drew in the air with his fingers
we fell apart
Mr.Ahmari stopped graphic design
he opened a workshop in Manoochehri St
and took students to teach traditional arts to them
but I began working with Mohammad Bahrami
he had a big company called Gothenberg Publications
and a graphic workshop and I worked in there
they had been working before us
after Mr. Ahmari left, I became the head of workshop
with a salary about 2500 tomans
I kept working in graphics
till one of my ad writer friends, Ebrahim Torbati
told me: “there is an advertisement company,
which want me to work with, and I told them I will work if Aydin joins us too.”
I asked Mr. Bahrami to leave to be more indipendent, and he allowed me
and we made that company actually, named “Gaam” in Bahar St.
and next to it there was “Tabligh Film”
Bijan Jazani worked in it
I liked him a lot
he used to paint and collected those paintings in his table
whenever I was bored I went to Tabligh Film
and Jazani showed me his paintings
during all those years I went there to meet friends
Bijan never talked about his political side
he didn’t use this side everywhere
I knew many left-wings unlike him, who always talked about their political thoughts
I really liked him, and the they I heard about
his execution was one of the worst days of may life
I was so comfortable in there, there was me, Hojat Shakiba had come recently
it was on those years I took painting more serious
one of those paintings was one which I inspired from Botticelli’s painting
after work, I always stayed there and began painting on my desk
that’s how I could paint some paintings and held my first exhibition
in Iran-America society, on 1354 or 52
so my serious painting career began in my graphic workplace
It was a succesful exhibition,
no one had seen that accurate paintings
art about art was unknown in that time of Iran
they were asking how is it possible to make changes in another one’s painting
and make it yours
It is not still common
they stil write in their websites his paintings are like someone else’s
obviously it is!
I was known as a graphic designer as well
I was contemporaneous with some great artists
such as Morteza Momayyez, Ghobad Shiva, Katoozian
there were about 10 good graphoc desiners at that time, and I was one of them
but I wasn’t that pro
becasue I always prefered painting tp graphics, unlike Momayyez
he was a good painter, but always pefered graphics
and then painting faded away slowly
It was the same for Ghobad Shiva and Farshid Mesghali
but I was waiting behind the door of painting, and it took so long to open
after the exhibition I became a famous painter
but It took a long time
Part06
in my work as a Graphic designer-Painter,
graphic was my main income source
but also some other things were happening to me
I bought the first old calligraphy at the age of 18
It was Asadollah Shirazi’s handwriting,
the calligrapher of FathAli Shah’s era
it was in Mostofi’s book store
it had an eye catching color
a beautiful chocolate brown
I went to buy it, Mr. Mostofi said it costs 100 tomans. and as I bought it,
I fell in a circle of buying these things
I have an almost complete of old calligraphies
when I bought them, they were all fragment and rupture, because they were cheap
I coudln’t buy expensive ones
but I repaired and cleaned the cheap ones
then drew borders for them , and gilded them.
and it was the tim I started gilding
I repaired the gilded parts and renew them
and I learned gilding
no one could do it like me
then calligraphy got important to me
and I got familiar with it in this way
different types and styles, different masters
I found out about their differences
I was crazy about the calligraphy
and with no porpuse I got specialist of old calligraphies
I always wanted to do calligraphy, but never did
once I was with Mohammad Ehsayi
he was calligraphing, I told him this is not that hard. he said you sure?
he gave me the pen and said write
I told him give me a model to write. and he wrote Hafez
and I wrote the same. he got shocked and asked: “how did you learn this? and I told this is my first time
and I didn’t know it will be the last one too
but then I learned to write by brushes
later I found out I’m not the only one who does it by brush
such as Esmayil Jalayer
he was the father of modern calligraphy of Iran
he used pen for drawing them, and then filled them using brushes
I wrote a “Hamd” in two years, and gilled it
all calligraphers are crazy about this work
I gifted it to my son, and he said “you have it for now.” of course he meant till my death
all my love to Iranian traditional art, began from that old calligraphy
It was like I am responsible to add to add something to them
and make it better than before
I did it
Part08
the museum was supposed to get openned by
the King and the Queen, during a big ceremony
Nahavandi PhD., the assistant of the queen was planning the programs
and he was kind to me in any art programs
there was a meeting with Kamran Diba, Mr. Nahavandi and me
and there were so many plans on papers on the table
Kamran explained the programs to Mr. Nahavandi,
and never looked at me during his speaking
then I said it’s not possible, he asked why?
and I answered because you’re giving 7 galleries
to the foriegn artists, and only 2 to Iranians
Kamran said what’s the problem?
I said Iranian painters had been waiting for a museum
to show the great painters’ paintings
we had not a museum even for Kamallolmolk yet
the only museums for a specific artists were two
museums for Ali Akbar Sanati
two small museums for his sculptures
I said: “It’s not possible, the name of museum is “Tehran museum of contemporary art”
Diba said: “Like It or lump It!”
I said: “this kind of openning will lead to Iranian
artists’ objection, and they will boycott this museum.”
he turned to Dr. Nahavandi again,
and Dr. Nahavandi said:”Ok, I should counsel the queen first.”
well Kamran Diba was so near to queen
he wasn’t only her cousin, but also a good friend
there was also Darab Diba as a cousin,
but he was on his own all the time
and he never went to the palace
that’s why he still is working as a teacher even after the revolution
Kamran Diba suddenly said: “I will talk to the King.”
and Nahavndi answered: “you can’t do it.”
he asked why, and Nahavandi said: “because firstly you should
make an appointment through Mr. Moeinian, and It will take a long time.”
we made another meeting a few days later,
and in the new plan, Iranian artists had more parts
after that time, the museum became so active and spiritted
with a big part of photography, graphic arts, and different exhibitions
not for Iranian artists mostly, but they used to hold
big exhibitions of great artists
and mostly they imported masterpieces, not export
because Kamran had respect to foriegner artworks more than Iranian ones
and maybe he was right, but we were all Iranians,
and we should have been kind to eachother
It wasn’t supposed to be a branch of New York museum of modern art
somehow we were all branches of everything all over the world,
but It shouldn’t have been the same for the museum too
the westernized thoughts of Diba helped
to collect this great collection of masterpieces
however, It was an unkindness to Iranian contemporary artists
at that time, and lalso later after the revolution
and still there is no museum for any conteporary artist
Sohrab Sepehri! I’m not saying that he was better than Mohasses, but he is more famous
none of them got a museum
but Sanati’s museum still stays on
It was kind of mismanagement! they tried to build museums
for after revolution artists
but none of them had been managed so well,
such as Emam Ali museum
they never had best artworks in
same as Shohada, Enghelab…
they have never had enough audience
the problem with Tehran museum of contemporary art
is that it have never been a museum
It has been a gallery instead
the other museums in the world have galleries as well,
but It’s like %90 for the museum, and just %10 for the gallery
but in period of some managers, such as Alireza SamiAzar,
they have shown the best masterpieces
I have been present in the contemporary culture of Iran
before the revolution, this presence had been accepted by the government
had been discovered, had been accepted
they gave me the chance to open some important museums
I was government’s favorite, which I realized then It’s not about my popularity
It was not about my knowledge, my management, nor my efficiency
It was all about using people like me as a cover, to get hidden behind us
unworthy people like Pahlbod, used us to cover their corruption
I was young, and didn’t understand It
and then after the revolution
that they stopped using us, because they didn’t need us, nor want us
It was funny to hear that some artists said: “they asked me back!”
they never asked anybody back after the revolution
because they didn’t need anybody
they thought they had all they needed
and that caused drawing borders
Part09
the name of Reza Abbasi museum was my suggestion
because I believe he is one our legendary painters
and I was hopping to show the Abbasi’s paintings in it
during the openning I asked everybody to borrow Reza Abbasi’s paintings
and they all rejected, for example Golestan Palace,
which had two paingings, just in the style of Abbasi
It was the same after the revolution
none of Reza Abbasi’s paintings were in the museum,
so the name of the museum never makes sense
the name of Glassware and Ceramic museum of Iran were also chosen by me
these two mueseums had similarities, both of them had a building which was not for a museum
unlike the Tehran museum of temporary art
which Kamran Diba had an inspiration of building
of Guggenheim museum in designing it
a long stairway
but Kamran had added windcathers so cleverly
It was supposed to place specific artworks in both of museums
and all of these artworks came from the store which
had been collected for the national museum
and all of these had been bought for the national museum
before I began my career in the museum
and we took the artworks into these two museums temporary,
untill the oppening of national museum
then we carried them to store of Reza Abbasi museum
Part10
during the revolution, I was still the
supervisor of Reza Abbasi museum
at that time all managers
of other museums
who mostly were
selected by the queen
were all her friends or relatives
they were good at their work,
though they somehow
didn’t familiar with people
though they were all good men,
but they had to be at that position
after revolution they got scared and
left Iran one by one
well during those days I was the
only one who still was going to museum
that was a museum and
I had to do my job
we prepared some metal guards for
the safety of Reza Abbasi musem
at that time I decided to
take my ex-wife to London
because she was a theater actress,
and It was obvious that
theater and cinema wont last anymore
when I was in London
the revolution won
Part11
as Hafez said: “It was all vain try
with me and my heart.”
but It did work in some cases
for example, almost all of museums
got repaired after the revolution
and stayed open
these were It’s good result
Kamran Diba can affirm this too
and also Firooz Shirvanloo
if he was alive
Shirvanloo got fired from his post
as same as me after the revolution
but no revolution can take
anybody’s situation
Stalin didn’t like Bulgakov,
and didn’t let him work
sometimes he thought his
White Guard theater was good
and let him play
and after a while
again stopped the play
The Master and Margarita book released
after Bulgakov’s
and Stalin’s death
but Bulgakov has still his validity
New Entry 34
Bulgakov was not an opposition
The master and Margarita, my all time
favorite book is not anti communism
he talks about corruption of humans
he was against It,
not only the communism
no one is able to take It off him
that book is always Bulgakov’s
no matter whenever released
and Shirvanloo was the same
no one will forget him
but “It was all vain” means
I helped so many to get scholarships
the daughter of one of painters’s leg
had a problem
I asked the queen to take her to
another country for a surgery
some time ago I saw her walking and
running in Toronto
I got really happy
there was a painter with
problem in his eyes
I helped him to go to
Paris for a surgery
I’m not saying these to
show my kindness
these were just to balance my works
there were so many like these
but only these two were enough
just for two years
but the other side was so
much heavier
and It never got balanced
and is not yet
because I made wrong decisions
I believe if I hadn’t this job
in those two years
some museums would never been maid,
and some might had been
some would get scholarships,
some painters would get cured
some books would have released
yes these would happen
It’s so selfish if I say It never
would have happened without me
life goes by without me
I played my part with…
…so naivety
and actually I took a big risk
It wasn’t worth It
If you ask me: “It’s the
beginning of 1355…
and your’e going to Dr. Nahavandi’s
office, what would you say in there?”
I would say:
“I say damn you all, these are non of
my business…
…I should do my own business…
…I should save only my name.”
It was a irrecoverable mistake
I restitute some, with
works I had done
a lot of works for the culture
after the revolution
when 8 books of a painter get released
shows that he has done
something obviously
and I challenge everybody to
find mistakes in each of these books
whenever someone asked
me for any kind of help
I never rejected
as I said some of the best painters
of after revolution
and Islamic arts association
have always been my friends
I never used this position
to reach something
and I still don’t
I don’t know if I will or not
and I will leave whenever
It gets much harder
I’m always ready to leave
I got married on 1351
to Shohreh Vaziritabar
It was a good time
the time that I thought
will last forver
the time I thought will
cause a good result
I’m not saying I was wrong
but It was not the way I thought
not same as my expectations
but that other way
was still so pleasant to me
I mean the revolution
I have said this a lot that I was
not revolutionary
and sometimes I say revolution
happened to bring me down
I wasn’t the king
but I had been in
that government for two years
I became a better graphic designer
after the revolution
no one bought my paintings
and I had no income, I taught
in Al-Zahra unversity for a while
then I got fired after
the cultural revolution
worked with several companies
as graphic designer
one of them were a publication
called Faryab
they let me design
so freely on book covers
and my best graphic works
were at that time
then I designed posters for
Ali Hatami, Masoud Kimiayi
I didn’t work on ads
except logos, such as
logo of Parsian Bank
then I became a better painter
because I had time to paint more
I got experienced, and It
caused to better paintings
I got known as a painter
after the revolution
though I had no exhibitions
until the last year
but people could see my works in
group exhibitions
I got a better writer
I have written more than 1400 articles
and I have selected
almost 600 among them
I haven’t written many reviews
but I wrote about anything
I though I should write
art, archaeology…, etc.
these are all in these 8 books
so the revolution which was good
for some and bad for the others
personally was good for me and my work
I got better in anything I had done
before the revolution
except management, because I didn’t
asked for
and I thing It was good too
because those two years of
my management time
were too hard for me
and when the revolution
took that of me
so angrily
It was a favor to me in fact
because I gave all my
energy for the art
but I hadn’t painted more than
hadn’t write any articles
I couldn’t write my personal views
so I decided to not write
they stopped my TV show
that show was so helpful
we never had a show like
that about art anymore
the real famous Aydin Aghdashloo
belongs to the after revolution
in opposite of the thoughts of
all revolutionaries
who believed they had permissions
to bring everyone down
revolution gives this permission
but should it be
the same in a long time?
I don’t guess so
because I had read history
so I was just patient
I didn’t immigrate, I never cursed,
never got opposition
I just waited
I owe this not getting forgotten,
to the journalists who were kind to me
wrote about me
and reported my articles
I’m always grateful
Part12
I opened a painting class
after the cultural revolution
a friend told: “while you have nothing
to do, your students are the same.”
“open a class so they
can learn from you again.”
It was a good class, we started
with 6 students
but once It reached to 150
more than all painting students of
university of Tehran
It was a hard period for me
because I started a brand new career
I have a friend, who gave me a place
to hold the class
he found some place, and I rented It
he rented for me actually
and paid for next 6 months
and told me to pay him back
after 6 months
and I paid sooner
It was such a beautiful place
in Oskoo alley, Enghelab St.
next to Diana Cinema (Sepideh)
the class still stays on,
in somewhere else
that class became my
main income source
It was the tuition fee of the students
at that time I got divorced
then I met my next wife, Firoozeh
and we got married
and that marriage was so strange
because I had no money for
the ceremony and etc.
but somehow I reached the peace
my mother was still with me,
but I needed more support
-what year was that?-
-your second marriage-
and then my son was born on 1360
those years were so strange
among all of my skills,
teaching was the least
but I began my new
life with this skill
then I started graphic works
which was so needed
not only because It was an
income source, but also It was a way
to make my name not to get forgotten
not through holding exhibitions, nor
through selling artworks
but through painting on book covers
and It continued in other fileds
such as writing
I wrote my first article after
the revolution on the “Film Magazine”
and keep on painting more and more
but the class was so
important in a period
and It was really hard
two sessions, morning and afternoon,
and I put everything on teaching
history of art, painting,
everything about painting
traditional painting, water color,
oil color,gouache, pencil…
everything! I mean It
on those years It was kind of
a university Itself
and It was a good replace for
the closed universities
to remain these abilities
and don’t get destroyed
I had a room with a library
the house was in Niavaran St.
at the beginning of the semester
students paid their tuitions
cash
and the paper money was so small
at the end of the night
I brought the money out of the bag
and put them in certain rows
then counted them, and separated them
by marked papers
and looked at the rows
and I was like well I’ve worked and
It is my wage
once I was doing the same, and
my wife came in and saw me
I used to do It, when
everyone was asleep
she looked at me and said: “are you
counting money?” and I said yes
said:” why are you doing It yourself?
ask someone else to do It for you.”
well she couldn’t understand what was
happening during that action
I was touching my wage and feel It
separated and stored It
It was something special inside of me
later usual as all rumors and craps
about how rich I was
when I heard them I couldn’t say about
these story
but I laughed a lot in my heart
there was just a light bulb,
and rows of money
which I had earned by too much working
keeping the students who had no
interest in art,
and came to the class by
force of the parents
the ones who weren’t like this,
became great painters later
well the post-revolution period
had begun like this
with It’s all good and bad
in fact I didn’t see any disrespect
and I didn’t see any
special favor neither
and of course It was normal
and of course I should be thankful
New Entry 199
It’s nature of the revolution
I was equitable
and I am
but I always try to see
things correctly
because of my critical character
something began on those days and
never changed a lot during the time
and It was…
“denial”
although It was a great favor to me
but It hurt sometimes
I did different works, including those
since the revolution by now
New Entry 233
and that period passed like this
and got easier day after day
It got the easiest, when that denial
was not effective anymore
they couldn’t deny me anymore
you can deny a painter, a writer,
an Islamic art specialist, a teacher
but you can’t deny all
of these together
of course It’s still possible,
but is much harder
Part13
I opened a painting class
after the cultural revolution
a friend told: “while you have nothing
to do, your students are the same.”
“open a class so they
can learn from you again.”
It was a good class, we started
with 6 students
but once It reached to 150
more than all painting students of
university of Tehran
It was a hard period for me
because I started a brand new career
I have a friend, who gave me a place
to hold the class
he found some place, and I rented It
he rented for me actually
and paid for next 6 months
and told me to pay him back
after 6 months
and I paid sooner
It was such a beautiful place
in Oskoo alley, Enghelab St.
next to Diana Cinema (Sepideh)
the class still stays on,
in somewhere else
that class became my
main income source
It was the tuition fee of the students
at that time I got divorced
then I met my next wife, Firoozeh
and we got married
and that marriage was so strange
because I had no money for
the ceremony and etc.
but somehow I reached the peace
my mother was still with me,
but I needed more support
-what year was that?-
-your second marriage-
and then my son was born on 1360
those years were so strange
among all of my skills,
teaching was the least
but I began my new
life with this skill
then I started graphic works
which was so needed
not only because It was an
income source, but also It was a way
to make my name not to get forgotten
not through holding exhibitions, nor
through selling artworks
but through painting on book covers
and It continued in other fileds
such as writing
I wrote my first article after
the revolution on the “Film Magazine”
and keep on painting more and more
but the class was so
important in a period
and It was really hard
two sessions, morning and afternoon,
and I put everything on teaching
history of art, painting,
everything about painting
traditional painting, water color,
oil color,gouache, pencil…
everything! I mean It
on those years It was kind of
a university Itself
and It was a good replace for
the closed universities
to remain these abilities
and don’t get destroyed
I had a room with a library
the house was in Niavaran St.
at the beginning of the semester
students paid their tuitions
cash
and the paper money was so small
at the end of the night
I brought the money out of the bag
and put them in certain rows
then counted them, and separated them
by marked papers
and looked at the rows
and I was like well I’ve worked and
It is my wage
once I was doing the same, and
my wife came in and saw me
I used to do It, when
everyone was asleep
she looked at me and said: “are you
counting money?” and I said yes
said:” why are you doing It yourself?
ask someone else to do It for you.”
well she couldn’t understand what was
happening during that action
I was touching my wage and feel It
separated and stored It
It was something special inside of me
later usual as all rumors and craps
about how rich I was
when I heard them I couldn’t say about
these story
but I laughed a lot in my heart
there was just a light bulb,
and rows of money
which I had earned by too much working
keeping the students who had no
interest in art,
and came to the class by
force of the parents
the ones who weren’t like this,
became great painters later
well the post-revolution period
had begun like this
with It’s all good and bad
in fact I didn’t see any disrespect
and I didn’t see any
special favor neither
and of course It was normal
and of course I should be thankful
New Entry 199
It’s nature of the revolution
I was equitable
and I am
but I always try to see
things correctly
because of my critical character
something began on those days and
never changed a lot during the time
and It was…
“denial”
although It was a great favor to me
but It hurt sometimes
I did different works, including those
since the revolution by now
New Entry 233
and that period passed like this
and got easier day after day
It got the easiest, when that denial
was not effective anymore
they couldn’t deny me anymore
you can deny a painter, a writer,
an Islamic art specialist, a teacher
but you can’t deny all
of these together
of course It’s still possible,
but is much harder
Part15
Then I got to the broken dishes
the bowls of Ilkhanid and Seljuki eras, with paintings on them
exploded and broken
I painted them by gouache and water colour
then I thought I have to make some large paintings
because the small paintings are overcome by the viewer
unlike the larger ones
I made some large paintings in size of 6 meters
but nowadays it is hard for me to work standing for a long time
then I started destroying them in some different ways
whenever I was on a bad mood, I used to cut them in pieces
I’ve made a painting which is now owned by Mohammad Ehsayi
I asked him to write a poem of Hafez’s
then I coppied it by a brush in a large size
and after all I ripped it by a knife
I make renaissance sideview portraits so well, with all details
However I do whatever I want to do to them
In some of them I draw the thorn
but these are the softer ones
but im my really bad times,
I show it by destroying the artwork directly
once I made a painting of Isfahan school, a young boy
with all details
I tried to burn it
I put it on the flames and it began to burn
suddenly Firoozeh and the children came and took it of me
because it was going to burn completely
and of course that artistic thing was completed at that moment
all that sadness, regret and self-harm
you know all these are self-harm
I mean when I was cutting that beautiful painting by knife
I was hurting myself in fact
the artwork was somehow my body and soul
and it happened so many times
I have burned a lot of my paintings
and framed them after burning
but the moment when it is happening,
the moment when you hit yourself by knife
that’s the insane and unrepeatable moment
as the knife touches your skin, something glorious happens
after it you will bandage the wound,
and before it nothing has happened yet
so all that artistic thing happens at that single moment
and if I frame the paintings it’s just to save and remind that moment
the unrepeatable moment
and the others will understand that someone hit himself,
that’s all
but all the meaning is in the moment of self-harm
I always think about suicide
and I believe the best way is
falling down from top of a building
to look down at the people walking like ants,
and then dive in the air
after hitting the ground
and explosion of body…
well it wouldn’t be a pleasent moment,
and that’s whyI’ve never done it
but I always think about the moment you are floating in the air
and how unrepeatable It would be
that moment, 30 seconds, 60 seconds… doesn’t matter
that is such a strange moment
how much free
this self-harm period still keeps going
I still do it sometimes, make a painting
then cut it in four pieces, and stick them together again
and again that’s at the moment
of cutting that something happens
these are not recommendations
this is not the way of painting I can recommend
or even say is a better way
but whatever it is, it’s something that is
happening inside of a man
destroying beautiful things
destroying values
actually this is why I know myself a painter of history
because I’m reporting a huge destruction
and I’m not a stranger reporter
because I’ve fixed the destroyed things
I’ve been involved with this destruction directly
virtually
so I might be one of the best reporters in this case
once I was buying one of my paintings in an auction,
there were some sticking plasters on it
someone told me this is a great painting,
but unfortunately it’s been repaired so badly
-was it your own painting?
-yes it was
it was cofiscated from someone’s house
and I asked one of my friends to buy it,
because I had no money
and we bought it at a cheap price,
because they thought what a pity that it’s been repaired badly
and then I thought he had used the correct phrase,
“Pity”
because the basic of all these, is “pity”
my mother use to watch me making paintings
and then destroying them
she always looked at me and said
“What a pity you do it with your artworks.”
and I answered: “yes, what a pity, but also what a pity your
beautiful face now is full of cracks…
…and I make cracks on these paintings in the representation of god..
…I’m telling the story.”
Part16
“the intercession of angels” collection
is included seven paintings
including humans who are suffering,
alongside a beautiful decorative object
so there is a kind of intercession in this suffering
this beauty is intervening their suffering
for example in one of them, there is a naked guy
with a bag covering his head
he is choking, but there is a beautiful angel on the bag
in another one there is a guy with thorns on his back
like he has been under torture
under his skin there is miniature,
and it has been always in there
that beauty, that perfection
is under his skin
after wounding that beauti has shown up
and again it intervens that suffering
and I never got back to this collection again
I usually do it
but not this time
“the notes of Malek garden” began from…
…a teaching
I used to take my students to the nature to draw it
and I used to paint alongside them
to show them how it should go
words are never enough
I sat on the ground I began painting
I like that period
not only because of its technical values
but also it is including a part of nature
that I did not chose by myself
why did I chose this part of this pool full of mud
or this wreckage room
the students asked me why do I chose these parts
and I just answered because it’s really beautiful
then I realized it feels beautiful because
it has the meaning same as
my internal hidden thoughts and feelings
but the point was there were something including that meaning
and I had to exctract it out
Michaelangelo said: ” Every block of stone
has a statue inside it, and it is
the task of the sculptor to discover it.”
and that meaning was hidden in
the wreckages of Malek garden
I had to sit to paint and show it
and then “proliferate of broken things” began
broken tiles, broken dishes
like they were falling from the sky
and their main meaning was falling
there were anxiety, falling…
Most of them had been broken before touching the ground
and after touching the ground there was nothing
one of the most famous is that teal bowl
which hast got broken after touching ground
this is the only one which shows the hitting moment
the rest all show the falling moment
but there will be hit coming for them
Mostly the renaissance paintings
in a collection named “Anno Apocalyose”
it means the year of apocalypse
I believe all these exploding objects
are warning a bigger disaster
an apocalypse
It’s not that important if I can show
this meaning in my works
I believe the disaster is not the certain accident
the disaster happens in us,
who are watching it
Apocalypse is in our watching
because life is short
Sometimes I think when the earth is exploding
the Apocalypse
I have an image of it
I am watching it from far away
like I’m on another planet
then I see everything is spreading away in the galaxy,
just like Antonioni’s movie, “Zabiriskie Point”
once I painted a large painting for
my friend, Sadegh Kharrazi
his father is an important religious man
he is Ayatollah
It might be one of the most pleasent
reactions about my artworks
Mr Kharrazi had my painting on his wall
Once his father saw the painting and
stayed in front of It for a while
then he started to saying parts of Quran
about the apocalypse
then said this is an image from galaxy
because the bowl was in the middle of picture,
but it’s parts were spreading away
I think I’m watching this explosion
and then I see the things are passing away flying
the head of Michaelangelo’s David
parts of paintings of Cappella Sistina
the tiles of Shah masque in Isfihan
all of these are spreading away and nothing stays at all
I don’t judge this moment
and don’t feel any sadness for it
sadness for what?
nothing is immortal
but I can’t refuse my wonder
apocalypse is when you see all of these passing you
“the year of fire and snow” had begun
in the begining of war
but all of these are including layers
I have tried not to make sloganeer paintings
they have words, but no slogans
these all refer to…
war
revolution
my own feelings
my reviews of old ages
these are more feelings
when a painter gets his own
meanings in his works
he can’t create different works anymore
he becomes his own mannerist
begins to repeat his works he has been succesful in
repeats his success
and this is not bad
Picasso wasn’t like this
but most of the artists were like this
Rothko, Pollock, Baken…
all of them had been repeating in their old ages
this is not bad
and I’m doing it these days
and enjoy it
whenever I repeat
like every time you eat a yummy food
Part17
Creating a work of art: Idea to performance
Some artists start their work using a predesigned pattern or ground, that is as artists say, they use studies. Some of them work on the theme which is in their mind in small sizes and dimensions, choosing what colors and combinations they want to use or what is the theme. However, some others work on an ad hoc basis. In other words, it is made on the spot. That is why they have access to nothing other than a general and vague ground. It is only during the process that change occurs. Some parts are added, some are rebuilt and added to it. So the completion of the work largely depends on their feeling at that specific moment. I actually belong to the first group. Maybe I do not know what exactly I am going to do. I refer to the references I have. I choose the samples I’d like to annihilate. And this is not only one sample but is a combined compilation. I start my job based on a general feeling and meaning. A general meaning whose limitations has been somehow clear during the last 30 years, i.e. it was clear what I was going to do. However, this is not a work that will not be changed until its completion. It will change. I add some parts, delete some parts. This change sometimes surprises me as well. I think to myself, “I did not have such an imagination from the beginning that the work will be completed this way.” Also, I do not prevent it. Anyway, a work of art is to record meaning. It records a general meaning and at same time it records that instant’s meaning. It’s a combination of the two. Therefore, I allow it to happen. In some of my works where a work goes through practical damage, the moment the damage takes place is very important. I previously mentioned this. Therefore, this moment is also added to the change which happens when the work is completed. Thus, most of the time I myself do not know what happens to the work. I refer to my feeling. This is unknown to me. When the work is completed, I understand that I couldn’t completely guess how it would be in the end.
I feel indebted to Boyouk Ahmari as my teacher. When he worked, we and some of his colleagues were around him. He was a very good painter. When he started to work, he did it passionately and enthusiastically. Watching him was enjoyable. He walked around his work, sat down, and stood up. Sometimes the work was completed, but he was so meticulous and did not leave it. We arranged with our friends that whenever his work was done, we did not let him continue. And he yelled and said that there was a lot left to do, but we insisted that it was done. However, I myself dealt with this problem many times, that is when a work was completed, I tried to fill it.
I worked a lot with watercolor. I like watercolor, it gives a feeling of immediacy. It gives a feeling of spontaneity which is very beautiful to me. When you leave a stain, it can no longer be fixed. This is it. Thus, there is a special challenge in working with watercolor. If it is damaged and you make a mistake, it is not like oil paint that can be easily fixed. It cannot be fixed at all. Because as you try to fix watercolor, you add one color upon the other and the work looks darker and dustier. But for the time being, I sometimes like to use watercolor. Sometimes when I draw some precise and meticulous works, it is pleasant to me to draw a bunch of flowers in a vase. And I do it very quickly and easily and I enjoy it. I’ve always worked with oil paint. I’ve mostly worked with gouache for the last thirty years. Gouache is a very difficult and complex tool. Acrylic is way simpler than gouache. Gouache is so challenging. When working with gouache and the base color is put, if the brush strokes on this base color are a lot, the next color you want to use on it will show those strokes. The colors will be mixed. It is not like acrylic or oil paint which gets dried. Maybe the simplest painting tool is oil paint, because it takes time to get dried. Thus, you have enough time to do all the exquisite stuff like blurring or adding the color spectrum. Oil paint takes some 24 hours to get dried, therefore it gives you time. However, gouache is not similar to this and is very difficult. Among the art students I taught, only a few can work with gouache very well.
Gouache cannot be applied on canvas. So it is necessary to apply it on cardboard. I am convenient to work with a kind of cardboard that fit colors. Sometimes it is found in Iran, at Tehran. However, my desired cardboard density is not necessarily always available in the market. Its name is Archeg. Whenever I go abroad, I bring in a lot of cardboard. I have so many of them now that if I live for 150 years, it would suffice. I am so greedy and this greed is the heritage of post-evolution era when there were no colors available in the country. I sold a painting, someone bought it from me. Then I told him not to pay me, instead come with me to buy painting equipment. He accepted. I bought so many equipment. It was not a bad idea since I still use some of them. It was really interesting to me to find out that after about 35 years, oil paint can remain as fresh as before and does not get dried in its tube. It was so interesting.
For the last 5-6 years, I haven’t worked with oil paint. It was a special feeling and I lacked the smell of it in my nostrils. That is why I worked on some very big polyptych paintings using oil paint. I also worked on Triptych paintings with the height of 2 meters and the length of 6 meters. I enjoyed a lot. I discovered oil paint once more. To me there are two problems regarding oil paint. First of all, it needs a lot of space. When you work in big sizes, you need enough space and I don’t have enough room for a 6-meter painting. And I painted that 6-meter painting in my friends’ workshops. The second problem is that working with oil paint is very messy. Any painter who paints with oil paint uses a vast area ranging from colors and brushes to petrol and different solvents. I am obsessive. I am similar to old miniaturists whose entire working place was limited to a cardboard and their knee. There is the painting of Reza Abbasi painted by his student Moein Mosavar which portrays him while he’s put his painting on his knee and is painting. I am on a border between these two. And I work so meticulously and precisely. I do not make a mess at all. All my brushes and colors have a specific place. When I open gouaches, I instantly close them. This actually is an economical aspect from early childhood. I did not have that much money to dry my gouaches or let them dry. However, I do not work with oil paint lately, because I must stand up most of the time and paint. And now working like this is difficult for me, since my legs and shoulder hurt. For the upper parts of the painting, I had to stand up and raise my hand and that led to arthritis. I can no longer raise my hand so much. It definitely hurts. That is why I paint using my desk and do not occupy a lot of space. I work in a very meticulous, neat and disciplined manner. I am such a painter. My ancestors were Iran’s old miniaturists.
I never get inspired by the outside atmosphere. I usually do not paint portraits. I am neither a landscape nor a portrait painter. But, I have painted some portraits in my life who belonged to the people I loved. But, I have not used the nature as a source of inspiration. However, sometime in the 1360s I painted part of a garden. Malek Garden in Golabdareh. But it was only a period and I never get back to it.
-Do you name your paintings?
Yes, always.
-when do you name them? before or after completion?
In fact, during the process. I actually know it goes under which category of my works. But, I think I choose that exact name during the painting process. I often write while painting. I have a problem. When I start a job and have my design and color it, after a little bit of progress, I think it is not good and is ruined. It makes me sad. Although I know it happens every time, it is stressing each time and does not make much of a difference. Then, I gradually think that I can fix it. Sometimes I tell myself tongue-in-cheek, “because paper is expensive.” I cannot tear my paper like the sensational painters of the 19th century. I keep up the work so that I can reach somewhere. But the fact that I hesitate in the middle of the way is so true and it surely happens. I think that this part is not true at all or is not in congruence with other parts. But, I find a solution every time and change it. I change it a lot. When the audience sees my paintings, they believe that everything has precisely been calculated. It is somehow true but 60% of the changes occur during the painting process. It cannot remain unchanged. The painter’s hand and mind is always in search of a better solution. Sometimes some of my friends transmit it to their past works. Even their feeling at that moment which needs change is applied on a painting they have previously signed. I always said at university and even to my friends not to change their works so much and let it be changed at that moment. Because after some years pass by, the work is the record of the meaning of that era of your life. You cannot edit history.
I work as a painter and my profession is painting. My essemce is painting. Wherever I want to introduce myself, I introduce myself as a painter. But I have not been a full-time painter. One of the reasons is that I have dedicated my time to different tasks. Sometimes restoration becomes so extensive and important which replaces painting. In other words, when I must paint, I do restoration. It gives me the same enjoyment. Recently, I even sign some of my own restorations. In fact, this is a situation. There were and are some painters who paint constantly morning to night. Some painters must find that feeling to paint. As foreigners say, they must be in the mood to do it. I say they must be in the air of painting. In my case, it is not constant. Sometimes, I feel like painting, sometimes not. when I am in the mood of it, I follow it enthusiastically and do not waste my time. For, I know that this present feeling will disappear soon and I don’t know when it returns. It occurred that I did not have this feeling for a long time. And when people asked me to paint, I said I am not in the mood of it. And they said what happens to us then? I told them to wait as I wait, the feeling would pop up. After my exhibition was finished, I hadn’t painted for five months and I just wrote. I was writing my memories. I just wrote. I’ve painted 11 paintings in 4 months. I worked day and night. I woke up early in the mornings and started painting until I was done. When it finished, the feeling also went away. And in the next six months, I did not paint even one painting. I cannot work by force. I cannot work under pressure.